"This Isn't Where I Parked My Car"

WARNING: This post may at first or throughout appear critical, pessimistic, or even anti-relationship. I wish to assure you that I firmly believe in relationships, love relationships and wish with all my heart that every individual fall happily in love. This being said, I also believe that there should be, to maintain a healthy relationship, balance.

I've recently received a heavy dosage of my own medicine. Granted it's medicine that I've not given out recently and have vowed to never give out again. The names have been omitted from the following to "protect the innocent".

Several weeks ago a friend of mine, one who played a rather large roll in getting the group of guys together, contracted a "relationship", one may wish to describe this as a parasite. Upon his ailment, we began to see less of him, which I honestly expect for the first couple weeks at most. Then things start growing and taking more time and suddenly we're all hanging out together (which I think is great) except that the "happy couple" disappear for moments at a time while the rest of us are left to do whatever it is that we do. Now we all know that these two doves are completely infatuated with one another and naturally we all come to the conclusion that they have disappeared to go "feel each other up". As you may have guessed we all act as though this doesn't really bother us, cause we're there in his home with mixed company and no one wants to be "difficult", but inside (I know because I've spoken separately to several individuals who were involved) we were disgusted with the lack of respect and/or manners displayed by our host.

Since this event this individual has almost completely disappeared and is spending every waking moment nursing his condition. Also, certain "conditions" have been applied to hanging out with the individual and are listed below.

1. He is no longer an individual, but rather a couple and seem never to be separated (Be prepared to spend time with both of them, or be asked to leave should the phone ring).
2. In the event that you are invited to come over it is only permitted on the basis that one is accompanied by a member of the opposite sex.
3. Should one desire to surround themselves with said company they must always, and I mean ALWAYS, make the effort and take the time to arrive where ever this individual or couple may be.

While there may be more than the three conditions listed above it is those three that most readily come to mind. The symptoms of this condition have brought to my attention the selfishness of this individual and the harsh realization that while I did not necessarily have the exact same problem I did on many occasions regularly alienate my most beloved friends for the company of a female. For my previous actions I humbly beg my friends forgiveness. I pray that my dear friend who has contracted this "social cancer" will soon see the power of the friendships he is alienating and strive to find the ever elusive balance of relationship and friends.

In light of this I offer my solemn oath to all my friends and friends to be: I will make every effort within my power to find, create, and/or maintain a balance of relationship and friends. I will always make known to my friends how much they mean to me that you should not have any doubt. I will strive to have a relationship that is based of friendship that we might all be able to hang out together (like one such couple we know).

In return I would hope that my dearest friends would also recognize that we are merely human and do make mistakes, often being caught up in the moment. As recognition of this I ask from my friends that they aid me in remembering and keeping my promise.

As always any comments, or questions will be well received. Thank you all for letting me vent.

The Full Wolf Moon

First I must thank my "brother" (such a close friend we consider each other brothers) for pointing out the fact that January's Full Moon is called the Wolf Moon. The name of this moon brings a sense of irony to the month of January. We begin with a excerpt from the Farmers Almanac on the name of this full moon.

Full Wolf Moon - January: Amid the cold and deep snows of midwinter, the wolf packs howled hungrily outside Indian villages. Thus, the name for January's full Moon. Sometimes it was also referred to as the Old Moon, or the Moon After Yule. Some called it the Full Snow Moon, but most tribes applied that name to the next Moon.

It has been said that people often take more unnecessary risks during a full moon than normal and I can say that I believe I've seen some of those effects. I am of the opinion and belief, from personal experience, that the effects of a full moon go beyond the risk taking and may indeed have various effects on people. I believe that these effects vary from person to person however I have noticed some increased agitation, restlessness and other basic instincts. I also find it interesting the withdrawals or growing effects such as apathy, depression and other such self destructing feelings and/or thoughts.

Naturally all this is brought up because tonight, January 10th, is the Full Wolf Moon. I never really know how fully the self destructive after effects of the full moon will hit me but one thing is certain, each lunar cycle has a love hate relationship with me and I seem to lose some logical thought processes and temporarily give into the emotionally self destructive thinking.

Nocturnal Conversions

As most of my friends know I have been working the graveyard shift at my place of employment for about a year and a half. I adapted to a nocturnal way of life rather quickly and due to the winter season had become accustomed to not seeing the sun. For the rest of you to get an idea of what this entailed I have worked a shift similar to 8pm - 6am four days a week for that year and a half, as you can imagine one would get used to sleeping well into the afternoon hours and rarely seeing sunlight. Early on I noticed a few things like and inability to fall asleep prior to 5am and an increase in my light sensitivity (which seems to have improved my night vision).

Starting on Jan. 3rd my shift changed to what is considered the "mid" shift. I now report for work at 12 noon most days and am at work till 8pm. I chose and even requested this shift. Having forgotten what it's like to sleep like a "normal" person, I looked forward to rediscovering what it was like to live normal hours.

Now lets jump back to Saturday, January 3rd. I had worked the "night" before until 5am the morning of the 3rd and was scheduled to start work again a mere 7 hours later at noon. My colleagues and I had anticipated that this would be a problem for me and had arranged for my to start at 2pm (allowing me a little more sleep). My alarms, yes I use more than one...I actually have 3 and have discovered that 3 seems to be the right number...anyway, my alarms went off in 5 min increments starting shortly before noon. I arose from my bed moderately groggy, you know that I'm awake but not really feeling, and went about getting ready for work. As I backed my car out of the driveway the sunlight, which I have not seen much of until now, pours through my windows like a big searchlight hell bent on burning my retinas. No sooner had this searchlight located my eyeballs when I felt as though my eyes would be reduced to dust. Blindly I felt around my car in search of my sunglasses, which also have not been frequently used for 18 months, I was able to locate my sunglasses after a few moments and was relieved at the comfort they provided.

I must admit that is had been very different living life during the day again, I'm awake by 9am every day now and my light sensitivity is slowly reducing. The recent changes have made me realize just how much I have missed the daylight. I have new found respect for those who have worked or currently work the graveyard or a job in which their shift rotates to and from a grave.